Meeting the letter of the law (but not the intent)
    Kids who use this tactic comply with your direction, but find a loophole in the wording of your command.
Examples:
When told to erase the board, the youngster:
    -(using a pencil eraser) rubs a wooden plank on the teacher's desk
    -writes "the board" on the chalkboard and erases it
    -says "But if I erase it, it will disappear and we can't find it to use it again."
When told to sit in the chair, does so, but facing backward

Strategy:
Teach and enforce the spirit of the law, not the letter of it.  While most teachers will try to be more exact in their directions or will add numerous sub-rules to the main ones, the best approach may be to conduct a lesson on interpretation of the teacher's directions.  Give examples of statements made by teachers and ask your students to identify the intent.  When a teacher says "Turn around"  does s/he mean "Face toward the teacher/group" or "Spin around in a circle" ? (You might even demonstrate the latter one for more effect)
    The lesson should help to prevent future episodes in which the youngster misinterprets your words.  If you do see the behavior again, ask: "Are you following the spirit of my direction?" and keeps the offender from saying (with a wry smile) "But I did what you told me to do."  You might even add a class rule which states: "Follow the spirit and intent teacher directions."
 
 
 

Negotiating

    Got a kid who tries to convince you to give in on your demands by repeatedly offering "bargains"?  This is the type of youngster who when s/he hears "You need to finish your math problems before working on the computer, says "Aw, if you let me use the computer, I PROMISE to do all my math...PLEASE!  I'll do may math later...REALLY!"  When you repeat your command, s/he says "C'mon.  How about if I do half of my math now, and you give me half of the computer time, and then I'll come back to my seat and finish the rest of the problems."

Strategy
Don't tell...Ask  Asking the student what s/he should be doing right now or what s/he was told to do can prevent many incidents ("What needs to be done before working on the computer?").  Attempts at bargaining are met with variations (or exact rewordings) of your original commentary.

Read his/her mind...Students who bargain are trying to gain some power in a situation, or trying to avoid an undesirable task.  Let him/her know that you are aware of the ploy by saying something like: "What you really mean to say is that you would like to goof off and try to escape doing your math.  You would like to control the situation.  In fact, you DO have control here.  You have the control over whether you will be able to work on the computer.  It's all up to you.  You've got a big decision to make: whether to waste your computer time trying to talk me out of doing your math, or whether to do the assignment as I requested and earning all of your time on the computer.  I know how well you do when you put your mind to doing things.  I know you'll make the right decision and be proud of yourself."
 
 

Contrary violations

    Some youngsters will often act in a manner that is in direct opposition to directions and procedures.  They attempt to engage staff members in arguments, or otherwise seek control.
Examples:  The teacher reminds the class to raise their hands if they wish to contribute an answer to the next question.  Fran shouts out the answer to that question.
As the teacher scans the room during a structured testing situation in which each student has two pencils (in case one breaks or is dull).  S/he sees B.B. get up out of the seat to sharpen one.

Strategy: Use planned ignoring.  Do not attend to the behavior when it occurs.  The youngster is attempting to engage you in a battle.  You win by refusing to fight.  It is important that you have made the class aware of this planned use of ignoring.  In that way, they won't think that you are unaware (causing some students to report on the offender) or afraid to act.  Inform the students that you are aware of what occurs in your classroom (pretend that you are aware even when you miss some behaviors) and that you are acting on the situation...later.  You will meet with the offender at a convenient (to you) time and administer a penalty at that time (while encouraging positive behavior in the future..."If the rules change, I will let you know.  In the mean time, I know that you are capable of much more, and I hope that you will live up to your potential.  I'm always here to assist you if you want my help.")
 
 
 

Getting in the last word

    Control is demonstrated over others (in the offender's mind) when s/he utters the last line in an argument.  Recognizing this intent, some teachers attempt to better the youngster by "getting in the last word".  However, doing so allows the youngster to continue to engage you in a battle.  They are glad to have an ongoing argument with you...that's exerting control over your actions (You should be doing something else other than arguing with kids).

Strategy:  Let them have the last word.  By surrendering, you win.  The argument ends.  You can administer consequences at a later time if they are deemed necessary (for failing to follow the direction given, rudeness, etc.)  As with "contrary behavior" be sure your students know that you use "planned ignoring".  Do be aware however, that behavior often escalates when it is being ignored (in an attempt to get your attention).  Do not, after the attempts to entice you into battle escalate, give in to the temptation to "strike out".  If you do intervene, do so calmly and respectfully, telling the youngster that you really don't want to have to continue to implement penalties because you want him/her to be a successful student.
 
 
 

Constantly asking "Why?"

    Ever spent time around 2 and 3 year olds with their constant questioning of the purpose of your direction ("But why?")?  For older youngsters, the intent of this tactic is to maintain control over the discussion and fluster/frustrate you.
Example:
    -"Please return to your seat."
    -"Why?"
    -"It's the rule."
    -"Why?"
    -"Because you should be working on your essay like the others."
    -"Why do I have to sit when I write?"
    -"Your penmanship will be better."
    -"Why?"
    -and so forth and so on, ad nauseum

Strategy:    Agree to answer all their concerns and discuss all questions later...during his/her lunch/free time/recess.  Questions become less important when they are asked on personal time (I know this fact as a professor who says "I'll be glad to address your concerns with you after class.")
Make a habit of asking ("Where should you be sitting right now?") instead of telling.  It's harder to ask "why" of a question.
 
 
 

Staff splitting

    You've heard it before, I'm sure: "But Mr./Ms. Smith doesn't care if I..."  Yes, we are, as a staff, often inconsistent in our enforcement of rules and regulations...and oppositional kids will attempt to use that oversight to their advantage.  They are trying to distract you from the real issue: their breaking of a rule.  The issue though is not whether a certain staff member is failing to do his/her job, but rather that the student is violating the rule and looking for someone else to blame.

Strategy: Put the spot light back on the student.
 
 
 
 

Refusing to comply
 

"You can't make me!" (or some close variation)  These kids are asserting their control and challenging your's.  They are hoping that you will attempt to control them, and either lose or look ridiculous in your efforts as they laugh in the face of your punishments.

Strategy:

Agree with them.  Say something like: "You're right.  I can't make you do something.  The only person who can control you is you.  I hope that you will make a good decision for yourself."  If asked: "What are you going to do about it?"  say something like: "You're trying to decide if it's worth it for you to challenge me.  That lets me know that you are in control and are choosing whether to behave well or not.  That means that you're also choosing to accept whatever the consequences will be." (don't tell them what they will be...it probably doesn't make a difference, and unknown consequences make them think twice before acting).
 
 
 

Other tips
Proximity control (moving the youngster closer to you) is probably not a good idea.  These kids most often function better away from authority figures.
Give the youngster some time to make a decision, and withdraw from the area.
Have the youngster evaluate his/her own behavior at set times throughout the day.
 

Return to the page on oppositional students  (NO!  You can't make me!)