The Problem:
Chris is my nephew. He is in the third grade and has constant outbursts, either to me, other children, or to no one in particular. This is often accompanied by not listening or insulting other children. When I ask him about his talking and related problems, he either becomes defensive or apologizes quickly, promising to listen ("I swear to God I will") and obey. Although he exhibits most of the classic signs of ADHD, he has been tested and does not have the condition. His mother also refuses to have him put on medication.
Last week I stayed over to look after Chris; while his mom and dad were away on vacation. During this time he constantly demanded things. Whether it be his toys or my attention, he became very possessive. For example, when the neighborhood children came by to play with him he would say “That’s Mine”; referring to the other children playing with HIS toys. In addition, when the other children wanted my attention he would yell and say “She is playing with ME”!
The Goal:
Convince Chris that it is all right to share and eliminate his outbursts.
The Intervention: (My intervention took place over a two day period)
Saturday, April 8, 2006
Chris can be particularly difficult, so my usual way of dealing with him was to either give him "the look” or simply ignore him. I’ve realized by being in SPED 702; that there are several strategies that can actually help me gain compliance with his defiant behavior. One such strategy I used was to re-phrase my comments via deleting “Why and You” (I am guilty of using both of these words when addressing Chris’ misbehavior!!) from my vocabulary. At one point of the day during one of his many outbursts I calmly, but firmly told him: “Chris, when I play with children we ALL share”…. “if we’re going to go to Friendly’s (ice-cream restaurant), I need for everyone to share for the rest of the day”. It was funny because after these comments; Chris looked up at me as if he was evaluating in his mind what I had just said. It was as if he was formulating what he did wrong. He looked away quietly and walked over to his toy-box.
Another scenario that afternoon was when two of his friends named Little-Billy and Marvin wanted me to play with them and their racing car. All of a sudden, Chris came over and snarled “No, she’s playing with me”! I once again in a considerate tone told him --- “Chris, if you don’t share, they won’t want to be your friend”. He quickly looked at me; then looked at Little-Billy and Marvin and said “Ok, I’m sorry” and joined us while we all played with the racing car. I quickly complemented Chris by saying, "I am very proud of you for sharing today” and he looked at me bashfully (I knew he was glowing with satisfaction!!) and continued his play.
***To complete my behavior assignment I invited the little boys over the next day. I wanted to see if anything had changed with Chris since implementing those strategies on him the day before.
Sunday, April 9, 2006
During an afternoon of playing outside I wanted the children to come indoors for an hour of arts and crafts (my favorite part of child’s play!!). My sister had an easel, paint and clay; so I figured the kids would love to do some crafts. I gathered the children in the den and we drew, colored and sculpt. The children then started asking me questions on what I was painting. A couple of minutes later Chris started interrupting me and the other children with completely off the topic questions. It was obvious that he was craving for individual attention. I told Chris that if he would like to talk about something not related we can discuss it later, but not when someone else is speaking. I told Chris that he can ask questions, but he must ask them at the appropriate time. Since Chris likes to yell-out and is a natural talker I told him he can read out loud for story-time before he goes to bed (redirect him to a preferred activity of my choice – but one he certainly enjoys) IF he abides by those rules. I felt that this seemed like it would be something that he would like to do, and I was right. He abided by the rules by not calling out during craft time and was given the privilege of reading aloud before he went to bed that night.
Another technique that worked well in this situation was the sandwich technique. I realized that it worked when we were cleaning up after craft-time. I noticed Christian and his friend putting the paint brushes away in their storage containers. I quickly said “Thank you Chris for helping put the brushes away… You cleaned them, dried them and put them in their containers, GREAT!” Chris lifted his shoulders in recognition. I then told Chris “Let’s try and let everyone use your Mom’s brushes the next time, so we can all see what they can do.” “All right, All right” said Chris. I continued by suggesting that everyone take turns with using the brushes for the next time. Chris gave me a big “OK.” I ended with a little motivational support by saying, “Chris, you are turning into such a big boy. Keep up the good work, sweetie.”
It wasn’t until the next day when I was getting ready to leave my sister’s home that I realized my techniques had an influence on him. He came right up to me before I left and said “Auntie Nikki, I let Tina play with my Power Rangers.” I told him “See, Chris… I knew you can do it.” I inspired him by saying “I knew you had it in you and I know I’ll be seeing you share a lot more”. He smiled and ran off to play with his sister.
Outcome/Result:
At the end of the two days I was with Chris his outbursts had decreased dramatically. Overall, the rephrasing of comments such as “You and Why” and using “We and I” worked well in encouraging good behavior. I also thought that ‘giving information’ ‘catch’ em being good’, ‘selection of choice’, appeal to desire to be “grown up” and the ‘sandwich technique’ worked nicely in other areas of his behavior, as well. All of these strategies set up aspirations while identifying the achievements.
On a personal note:
I made a copy of my Behavior Change Assignment #1 for the mother. She will be incorporating these and other techniques that I’ve learned in SPED 702 with her son and daughter. Thank you so much for the opportunity to put this course to good use not only professionally, but personally.