Promoting Self Control (in the kids & us)

“AUGHHH! How many times do I have to tell you to do this? You should know by now!”
They probably do “know” it by now, but we’re witnessing the difference between RECOGNITION (“knowing” when you’re reminded, like on multiple choice tests) and RECALL (remembering on one’s own in a certain situation). We need to move the kids from the low level of responding when reminded to self-initiated undertaking of the correct action when the situation is familiar (Example: “Get ready for class.”).
One method for building ‘self-management’ is to ask them what they should be doing at that moment. However, even this simple tip can be messed up with the wrong presentation by the adult (parent or teacher).
Saying “What should you being doing right now?” in an irritated voice does nothing to promote the positive relationships that drive youngsters to want to please us. It’s essential that we place a tone-of-voice filter on our minds/mouths and say instead: “My high-potential scholar: What needs to happen right now in order for you to succeed at the task?” (Vary the wording depending on the situation)
Note the positive initiation of the commentary and the “I believe in your abilities.” wording. The “Pygmalion effect” applies here: High expectations lead to high performance.